Human talk #1 What makes us feel more human…Our weaknesses or strengths?

Each one of us is unique and special in our own way with a particular set of weaknesses and strengths inside us. The combination of these character traits keeps on changing every moment, depending on the situation faced and our approach to it. Sometimes we get too scared of the situation, that we forget about our strengths and it is just the weakness part which will act.

How can you control these combinations, so that it will be always in your advantage? Or as a human, is it not possible to control it? When we are on top of a situation or winning over anything/anyone, we feel that we are on top of the world then. Do we feel like a human then or as we are some superior being?

Let me share the story of Adhira, a girl whom I knew since her childhood. As a single kid, Adhira was close to her parents, highly energetic and always with a happy face whenever I saw her. When she was 10 years old, they relocated to another part of the country. I saw her next after 5 years and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I met her. She was with her mother and was shabbily dressed, her hair uncombed and dirty. She was not even bothered about the stink which was coming from the dress she was wearing. I was really shocked to see her like that and was almost in tears.

Her mother told that she started behaving like this since last one year. She started hating to go to school, stopped taking bath, her whole hygiene level went downhill and she lost interest in everything. They took her to many psychiatrists, who put her under all sort of anti-depressant and sleeping pills. But nothing changed, months passed and she was still the same. She stopped talking to her father and tried to stay away from her mother as much as possible. She never smiled or cried for a year, it was always a blank face. Her mother wanted to try getting her back to her childhood good memories and that’s why brought her to visit us and the place.

I felt there was something inside her, which she was hiding vehemently from everyone, including her parents. I tried talking to her and make her cheer up. But she was just unresponsive to everything. I thought, maybe if there is some privacy, she may share things with me since I was like an elder sibling to her. So, we went inside my room and kept it closed. Again, next half an hour, I tried everything I could do to open her up, but alas…she was just too uptight!!

And then it happened…. My driver was just standing outside the window and he was talking to his family over mobile. The speaker was on and the sound was very loud. I moved towards the window and was going to call him to lower the voice, but then I heard his 5-year-old daughter’s voice speaking childishly to him. It was so sweet and innocent that a smile came to my face and I just didn’t want to stop the call. Then I heard a very loud cry and when I turned to that side, Adhira was crying loud and hysterically ran to her and hugged her. She cried and cried for almost half an hour and then she told the incident in between her tears.

She was very close to both her parents. Her mother being a scientist, had to travel in between for conferences. Her father used to take care of her things very well during her mother’s absence and she was very proud of it. And one such night, when she was half asleep, her father came to her room. She could smell an unusual stench of cigarettes and alcohol from him and then HE MOLESTED HER.HIS OWN DAUGHTER…she tried to scream and scream, but even a feeble sound didn’t come out of her. And he went out as if nothing happened

Next morning her mother came. She could not face her. She couldn’t face anyone. And then what became of her in next one year was right Infront of me.

I called her mother inside and told her what happened. To my surprise, she silently listened till the end, without any reactions. Then she stood up and asked me “Can you Pls take care of Adhira for a day. I will return in a day “. I said Yes, and without even looking at her, she went away.

She did return in a day and then the first thing she did was to hug Adhira and both of them cried a lot. She told  why she left last day “I wanted to make myself worthy of hugging my daughter “.She went to her apartment, filed a police complaint against her husband, filed a divorce petition and even threw away all his belongings from the apartment which was in her name and got a restraint order against him before she returned.

Adhira got better after that day. Her mother stayed strong with her and together they fought their way out 😊

Adhira’s story had a happy ending. Not everyone is lucky to have that. Next time will share the story of Samantha, which will definitely put you all in tears (if Adhira has not done it yet)

Few questions till then to think:

If Adhira, was so close to her mother, why did she not share her horrific experience to her, the next day itself?

Why did she become like how she was – dirty & shabby?

Even when psychiatrists couldn’t help her then finally how did she open up?