As an evolved person, you will consider yourself unique and special, the same as everyone around you. You have definite purposes in life and you don’t feel the need to compare yourself with others. You will never do any nasty things and disguise it as “ego”. You won’t compete with anyone, as you are aware that only you can do the things intended for you.  

If you want to evolve yourself without much struggle, there are only two ways, as shared by many spiritually enlightened gurus: either you have enormous intelligence or you have enormous trust. What may be the easiest way? what may be hindering us from having enormous trust or enormous intelligence.

To evolve with enormous intelligence, we should be open and willing to learn and unlearn continuously from all the experiences and situations, the universe will be putting us into, in order to facilitate the process. To evolve with enormous trust, we should be able to keep aside skeptical mind and start blindly trusting the universe-the messages, the presence and even the blessings and keep on doing things as per our intuition. Though it seems easy to do, both options are challenging to follow initially. But once you learn to do it, both the options become very easy too.

There are many around us who are spiritually talented and evolved to a higher extend from many lives of learning, but unaware of it during their current life. Every learning they have is stuck inside them because for some reason they remain too skeptical in this life to realize their gifts. They just need to take that one step of blind trust and magic will happen 😊 .

So don’t bother whether you are evolving with intelligence or trust. As long as you are evolving nothing else matters and strive only for that 😊

Let me continue with the story of Samantha. Read Human Talk #2 for continuity

As you all may remember, Samantha & I had a very special relation. After reading the first part, many had asked me why did I leave her and moved away to another city, if she was so special. Actually, I don’t have an exact answer to it. I was still hung in a relation from 3 years ago, not willing to let it go. For me, Samantha was the person who was keeping me sane and alive during that phase and as per her, I was the same for her. But I believe either I took her for granted or never realized her value then. I was very excited when I received a good job offer from another city, where my ex-lover was also settled. I was still under the blind idiotic belief of revamping that relation even after no contact with her for the last three years. when i told Samantha about the offer, she immediately told me that I should go, since she knew how much I wanted to go and meet my ex. And that is how I shifted.  

She used to travel to my city in between for her official works and we used to have good times as earlier. Meanwhile, incidents happened in my life which busted the bubbles of blind love inside my mind and brought me into reality. Similar to the pattern followed by majority love failure guys, I was living with a pseudo hatred for all women and strong disbelief towards the system called marriage😊 . Then our final meeting happened.

I was fed up with my life in the city and was planning to return to my native place. Informed Samantha about it and she told that she wanted to meet me before I shifted and the next day itself she flew in. Next two days we really had a blast: got drunk, danced around and laughed our hearts out. She had her return flight the next morning and the final night, she was drunk than normal. She was lying down in my lap and was still cracking jokes over some old stories. During the hysterical laughs, she asked very casually “ Hey, Idiot…I am just too bored with this lonely life. It is too depressing. I want to make you depressed too. So let’s get married “.She was still laughing after saying this, but I was taken aback and got very confused. Seeing me shocked she asked again laughing “ Why man, you won’t marry me then “.I got very serious all of a sudden and made big statements like “ I don’t trust women any more. You are the only woman I like now, coz I don’t think about your gender when we are together. I will never get  married …”.She suddenly got up, hugged me and told me “ Hey, stupid..don’t you know me? I was just pulling your leg. Relax !! “. To be frank, I was so relieved then. We kissed, hugged and slept as we always used to do.  

Morning even though I wanted to drop her, she insisted on taking a cab. Before she started, she hugged me and told” You know, you are a very special person. You will realise your value and start treating yourself properly one day “.She gave me a tight hug, kissed me on my cheeks and forehead and left. I had a very heavy heart after she left, but was very relaxed after I received her normal jovial funny audio message saying that she has boarded the flight. And that was the last time I met her and heard her voice.

There was no message from her for the next few days and I couldn’t get her on calls, but then it was normal for her. She used to call or message out of the blue since her work involved a lot of travel to remote locations with restricted network access. After a month I got a call which sent shivers down my spine even now after 12 years with its mere thoughts. It was a common friend asking me whether I was aware that Samantha had committed suicide 3 weeks ago, almost a week after we last met !! 

I was shocked, devasted and grief-struck. I called many of our common contacts. Nobody was aware of what had happened. I travelled to Punjab with an address which she had once shared. She was not interested in discussing anything about her family, so I didn’t know anything about them. Somehow I traced her family, met her relatives and learned the shocking fact that she had acute depression since childhood due to losing both her parents in an accident. She grew up under the effect of a lot of psychotic drugs and had trust issues and never was close to anyone. I realized painfully that I was the only one she trusted ☹ and maybe she wanted to try leading a normal life with me. But unfortunately, she masked all those perfectly away from me and never showed any signs of it. I still consider it as my biggest failure and pain in my life till now, that maybe I was responsible to let her die !!

A lot of questions about her disturbed me since then for a long time. Some of them are still left unanswered. Leaving a few questions for everyone to ponder:

How could someone after being so close, mask their worst and painful emotions?

Why somebody has to suffer until their death, even when they are immensely talented compared to the majority around them?

Since this experience prompted me to go into a process of self-awareness, was Samantha meant to be in my life to trigger my evolution?

What may have hindered Samantha from evolving?